Scared out of my F-ing mind

Okay, it just hit me tonight how freakin scared I am.

I'm scared about money. I'm scared about being a mother. I'm scared about not being prepared (hence the dreams I've been having recently, which closely resemble the dreams before the wedding, when I dreamt I showed up without my veil or something). I'm scared about what the hell to do with a freakin baby. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A BABY?!?!?!

I'm just nervous about everything and I don't want to worry or stress because I'm afraid it's bad for the baby. But every time I wonder if something's bad for the baby, I get MORE worried and stressed. It's just that we both wanted this so badly and now that we've got it... it's like, what the hell do we do with it?? What were we thinking? My tits are sore and my emotions are going crazy and we have so little money saved up and what the HELL were we THINKING?!?

I feel like I was just being very selfish by wanting a baby, something cute to dress up and get attention over. Good lord, I hope those weren't my real intentions. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm seriously panicking I think.

I better get to sleep. It's late and baby makes me tired.